实在不想这样频繁的更新，显得我十分的闲、相当的无事可做、非常的不大牌。

  离放寒假还有20多天，心里很毛躁/噪/遭/燥。zao在这里，哪个字都符合我此时情绪。

学校的幢幢宿舍楼选择在圣诞节这天挂上了红火的大灯笼以无声的抵抗外来节日的入侵，学中文的学生心中肯定在暗爽——让中国的年味来得更猛烈些吧！！！

小安说得好，我们在国外就过圣诞在国内就过元旦。不管怎样礼物总是让我很开心，认真准备礼物的人让我更开心。细心包装的苹果和香橙还有亲手制作的卡片以及其他。谢谢你们爱我！！！！

                                         我们亲爱的单翼天使晓强送给我们亲爱的小桃太郎的。o(∩_∩)o...哈哈　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　

                                                                    晓强有成千上万个成为番茄男孩的理由。

同是喜欢D.I.Y的小朋友，晓强总是可以把有限的材料发挥到无限的灿烂光芒。注重每个小细节的认真程度和无穷的创新意识再加上我们晓强安静沉稳的气质，晓强是每个女生心中的番茄男孩！！！！！！！！！！！ 　

都不知我们晓强是不是和我一样是从枕头里头扯一团小毛球来做填充物或者是捏的这个可爱的圣诞小雪娃呵呵。圣诞老人说，“赵晶晶小朋友你家没有烟囱我从你的窗户上进来。”可是那天晚上我害怕小偷进我家，就把窗户关得死死的，结果没有得到圣诞老头子的礼物。圣诞老人人昨天晚上在给我电话里沉重地叹气，爸爸说“女儿啊，最近我有感觉你没有好好学习啊！”老人家在沉重地叹气······这是小朋友心情烦躁的主要原因啊！！！总是不叫人失望的赵大晶儿开始奋斗了，逼出偶滴小宇宙。

不小心被我自己删除的日志竟然在百度找见了。感谢那个搜索我日志内容的人人啦^_^Big smile

以下是2007年10月29日的日志“Shanghai KISS,Sydney KISS,NewYork KISS,Seattle KISS…”

尽管是亚裔导演的首部电影，但很多的情节让我觉得中国导演不会这样处理，比如Addy得知刘在中国交了女友，她应该保持镇定友好告别再回家独自暗痛，白日迷离、深夜暴哭、剜心剜肺肠子流血才是中国女人失恋的模样。保持了君子的成人之美，同时又保持了荧幕主角的美感。Oh，她不应该抱着刘不让他走哭闹骂人。但是她只有十六岁又是个天才并且不是中国人。 

　我喜欢这个天才的某些方式。也许正是这些方式拉回了刘。想想相信一见钟情、在公车上毫不顾及旁人眼光给喜欢的人鼓励唱歌、给他画张肖像、给他做小饼干、给他写诗、拖他和你逛街、要他开车送你上学、在回家的公车上给远在上海的刘打电话、“我的性感上海男朋友”……是多么纯洁简单又小又疯狂的事情！！！！！！刚好那个时候又有阳光射进车厢。

oh!他们过于随便。生长在美国的中国人也不例外。我不知道是不是这位导演真的不了解中国文化还是怎样。拍的东西打动不了我这个中国人。在看电影的时候你的爱憎情绪不会明显但是但是但是但是就觉得没有力气。要是没有ADDY我想真的是真的是@#￥%…………*&……%￥#上海女人太霸道了！！！暴“豪爽”！！！吓坏我们了！！！  

I woke up lonely the day I died

The sun never sang to me so bright

The song of heaven that dance inside my eyes

Watching a seagull's flying and time stands still

As I paint the penguin red and I turned blue

I thought of you and only you

In the darkness you'll come and drive my tears and rescue me

From the plastic cups and empty faces

MY Shanghai KIDS,MY ONE AND ONLY

FOR you I wait,only GOD can stop me?

蘑菇小姐听日返屋企。再次坐桂林北到成都的火车。

HailuoGou glacier。

我相信王家卫所说，“幸福和痛苦同是有滋味的东西”。只是我觉得眼泪带来咸咸的涩、酸酸的痛，比抓不住的幸福更来得真切。所以我们需要源源不断的快乐，以在上次愉悦感即将消逝时及时地补充这种不切实的感觉；痛苦的魅力在于只要一点点就可以让你刻骨铭心，它的有效时间很长很长。          

失恋的滋味是什么呢？是白昼迷离、深夜痛哭，是剜心剜肺、肠子流血，是遍遍回忆，是整装待发。

没有过不去的坎，没有跨不过的桥。失恋只不过是王家卫的蓝莓滋味，是失恋的样子！！！                                                                                    “要是一方喊停，另一方马上就停了下来还是爱情吗？”爱情那股小惯性像给人注进了一剂吗啡，叫人上瘾般飞速回顾他们在一起的分分秒秒。你是否在马上22岁的时候还是无法告别20岁的恋情，无法放弃漫天编织的粉色家庭未来梦想，没有如设想般的行进，于是一遍又一遍地回忆总结，你曾经轻视自己了吗？在那个过程中，你痛了吗？生活在“你五步之内”的我也和伊丽莎白一样执著于过去，执着于放不下的“你”，但是我比以往更加奋力更加用心地追求美好并勇敢拥抱。那个在公车上听着“9 A.M  From here to there”的女主角背着行囊，流着大眼泪看着车窗外倒退的风景，内心却满满的开了一心室的花。你那样珍贵，全是因为我在你身上浪费了太多的时间。

“伊莉莎白不想再做以前的自己，所以她以自己的方式开始了旅行，甚至改了自己的名字。一路上遇到了很多各种各样的人，经历了许多别人的故事。随着旅途的进行，她渐渐明白，即使改变了名字、换了身份，在全新的环境下生活，哪怕别人都不知道你是谁，但自己依然是自己。所以，她发现自己可以以伊莉莎白的身份继续生活下去，而且可以生活得很快乐。有的时候，游历的旅途就是寻找自我的过程。无论如何改变，你始终是你，最终我们都会遇到自己，结束一段时期的心情。所以有时尽头并不一定就是结束，一段旅程的尽头，不过是另一段旅程的开始。”

一直喜欢王家卫的含蓄，我认为是女孩子该有的样子，在爱的人面前低眉顺目百般迁就可是又不失甜蜜坚强内心独立。不喜欢人家繁复的说教，却中意温柔稳重的他们给我讲一个又一个寄寓深刻的童话故事，领悟极好的我总是在知错之后温顺补救。

在暴想看《曾经ONCE》之后，再一次冲动——我想看《蓝莓之夜MY BLUEBERRY NIGHTS》！！！                                                                             上次是下了《ONCE》的OST，这次是下了《蓝莓之夜》的小说试读本。                                                                                                            那个谁要向谁谁示爱了吗？

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岁末的时候，我感到很幸福并且越来越幸福。恋爱一样的好朋友潇潇时时刻刻将我放在心上，她是那样在意我的一举一动还有小心思小情绪；宗宗和嫂嫂越来越离不开了；见不着就想，见着就讨厌的洋；疼我爱我的STONE，任由我对她万般粘黏；哥哥哥哥总是在杨家坪踮脚观望，我好像又干了什么蠢事；最最亲爱的玉光先生和曹曹天天敦促我学习，在身边说着宽心的话；“晶晶姐”叫到我全身酥软的，精力旺盛的好歌喉静静妹；亲爱的珍珍、诚诚、小弟、大表姐，没有你们，简直无法想象没有家庭的温暖我怎样才能强大起来；喜欢我，我也超级超级超级喜欢他们两口子的大米和螃蟹；小蒲、丽芳、丽贞、茂茂、紫丁、云非等等编辑部的相当给劲的小朋友们，我们要加油壮大；还有对我很好的学姐学长们，以及我无比想念的坤哥和文娟。遇到一个艺术家，画画的。看《cash back》的时候，女主角说了一句我一直想着的东西。女主角说她一直想遇见一个画家。我看电影的时候说“我也是。”男主角问“why?”她答道，“I think it might be something to do with their ability to see beauty in everything .To then capture it,and hang it on a wall for all to see.  我看电影的时候说，“他们发现美的能力和我一样强，甚至超越我，我需要有人引领。”我也遇见了一位画画的，但是他发现美的能力是不是和我一样强呢？

这个忙碌的冬天没有S.A.D！

幸福啊······明天冬至快乐······逢考必过的０５对外汉语！！！！！

恋爱一样的我是否让潇潇的清冽泉眼又丰盈了起来？挥手就走，我们挥手就走，我们挥手就走再不回来。A先生也走了，四天好长，但是他要回来。

未来爱怎样来就怎样来，忽视焦虑不安憧憬和其他，那些因为缺乏操作性的长期期盼也会因为时间的步步紧逼而变得和蔼可亲，该来的就快点来吧，我很有勇气。

留不住一朵云劝不住一绺风，还是奋不顾身地往南边的海滩冲过去。广东是香港的跳板，香港是所有梦想的前阵。那么现在在做什么呢？哦·对！和亲爱宗宗在学开车。

再见再见挥手再见，我很想念您的大绿蜂，做您的敌人也好。

                                                                                                                                             潇潇＿今日我俩像似＿一双恶作剧小姐

他不顾一切只弹奏钢琴，枪林弹雨，坚毅脸上却始终带着自足的从容的浪漫微笑。piano man!!!                                                                                 That night,I was sreaming "what is the colour inside" all the time.I am not sure it that is a nightmare or something occult.I don't know.BUT one thing is sure,I am simply lonely in my dream.

I AM ANXIOUS!!!

心烦意乱的。只要我被一件事情困住，就满脑子都是这件事。这件事一直穿插我正做的任何事。哎~~真他妈妈的烦躁！知道这是屁大个事，还这样烦恼。所以即使心的迹象可追，但是我仍掌控不了。我的心是我的，有精确线索有细致地图还是遏制不了，满满当当的神想！！！这种情绪难以控制，我束手无策我恼怒。我的心是不死心的小朋友使劲想使劲想。 最后我终于爆发了！！！都是你对我视若无睹！！！！视若无睹=to turn a blind eye to; to blink at; to ignore.我在乎、我在意、我CARE、我十分在乎、我非常在意、我相当CARE。我在乎、我在意、我CARE、我十分在乎、我非常在意、我相当CARE。我在乎、我在意、我CARE、我十分在乎、我非常在意、我相当CARE。我在乎、我在意、我CARE、我十分在乎、我非常在意、我相当CARE。凭什么啊！为什么呀！干嘛怎么是我呢！我做什么让你对我视若无睹？我相当在意！凭什么啊，我招惹你哪儿呢？？？大仙人！！！我干嘛平时有空没空就想你这位大仙人啊？因为你是我真诚的朋友，我在乎你我在意你，虽然就一起待了几天可是赵晶晶相当相当的喜欢你这个朋友！！！烦死老娘了！！！该！！！

I AM sooooooooooooo ANGRY!!!

今晚上一定要做个好梦。不然把梦精小丑怪痛扁 痛扁痛扁痛扁痛扁痛扁痛扁痛扁痛扁

头发

　我们家里每个人的头发都不一样。爸爸的头发像扫把，根根直立往上插。而我，我的头发挺懒惰。它从来不听发夹和发带的话。卡洛斯的头发又直又厚。他不用梳头。蕾妮的头发滑滑的——会从你手里溜走。还有奇奇，他最小，茸茸的头发像毛皮。

　　只有妈妈的头发，妈妈的头发，好像一朵朵小小的玫瑰花结 ，一枚枚小小的糖果圈儿，全都那么拳曲，那么漂量。因为她成天给它们上发卷。把鼻子伸进去闻一闻吧，当她搂着你
时。当她搂着你时，你觉得那么安全，闻到的气味又那么香甜。是那种待烤的面包暖暖的香味，是那种她给你让出一角被窝时，和着体温散发的芬芳。你睡在她身旁，外面下着雨，爸爸打着鼾。哦，鼾声、雨声，还有妈妈那闻起来像面包的头发。

Hairs

　　Everybody in our family has different hair. My Papa's hair is like a broom, all up in the air. And me, my hair is lazy. It never obeys barrettes or bands. Carlos' hair is thick and straight. He doesn't need to comb it. Nenny's hair is slippery--slides out of your hand. And Kiki, who is the youngest, has hair like fur.

　　But my mother's hair, my mother's hair, like little rosettes, like little candy circles all curly and pretty because she pinned it in pincurls all day, sweet to put your nose into when she is holding you, holding you and you feel safe, is the warm smell of bread before you bake it, is the smell when she makes room for you on her side of the bed still warm with her skin, and you sleep near her, the rain outside falling and Papa snoring. The snoring, the rain, and Mama’s hair that smells like bread.

大流士和云

　　你永远不能拥有太多的天空。你可以在天空下睡去，醒来又沉醉。在你忧伤的时候，天空会给你安慰。可是忧伤太多，天空不够。蝴蝶也不够，花儿也不够。大多数美的东西都不够。于是，我们取我们所能取，好好地享用。

　　大流士 ，不喜欢上学的他，有时很傻，几乎是个笨人，今天却说了一句聪明的话，虽然大多数日子他什么都不说。大流士，喜欢用爆竹，用碰过老鼠的小棍子去追逐女孩，还以为
自己很了不起的他，今天却指着天空，因为那里有满天的云朵，像枕头样的云朵。

　　你们都看到那朵云了，那朵胖乎乎的云了？大流士说，看到了？哪里？那朵看起来像爆米花的旁边的那朵。那边那朵。看，那是上帝。大流士说。上帝？有个小点的问道。上帝。他说。简洁地说。

Darius & the Clouds

     You can never have too much sky. You can fall asleep and wake up drunk on sky, and sky can keep you safe when you are sad. Here there is too much sadness and not enough sky. Butterflies too are few and so are flowers and most things that are beautiful. Still, we take what we can get and make the best of it.

　　Darius, who doesn't like school, who is sometimes stupid and mostly a fool, said something wise today, though most days he says nothing. Darius, who chases girls with firecrackers or a stick that touched a rat and thinks he's tough, today pointed up because the world was full of clouds, the kind like pillows.

　　You all see that cloud, that fat one there? Darius said, See that? Where? That one next to the one that look like popcorn. That one there. See that. That's God, Darius said.God? somebody little asked. God, he said, and made it simple.

猫皇后凯茜

　　她说，我是法兰西皇后的远远远房表亲。她住在楼上，那边，那个“捉小孩的人”乔的隔壁。离他远点，她告诉我说，他很危险。街角那家小店是宾尼和布兰卡的。他们还蛮好，可只是靠在糖果柜台上时才对你好。两个像老鼠一样邋遢的女孩住在街对面。你不会想去认识她们的。埃德娜是你家隔壁房子的主人。她过去有幢大得像鲸鱼的房子，可她弟弟把它卖了。他们的妈妈说，别，别呀，千万别卖。我不会的。可后来她一闭眼，他就卖了它。阿莉西娅自从上了大学就傲气起来了。她过去挺喜欢我，可现在不了。

　　猫皇后凯茜养了好多好多好多猫。猫宝宝、大个猫、瘦猫、病猫。睡姿像个面包圈的猫。爬到冰箱顶上的猫。在餐桌上散步的猫。她的房子就像个猫天堂。

　　你想要个朋友。她说，好的，我会做你的朋友，可只能做到下星期二，那时我们就得搬走了，不得不搬了。然后，她似乎忘了我才搬进来，说，这个社区的人越来越杂了。

　　凯茜的父亲有一天会要飞到法国去，找到远方的、她父亲那边的远远远房表亲，去继承家宅。我是怎么知道这些的呢？是她告诉我的。同时，他们要从芒果街向北面搬迁，离开这里一点路，在每次像我们这样的人家不断搬进来的时候。

　　Cathy Queen of Cats

　　She says, I am the great great grand cousin of the queen of France. She lives upstairs, over there, next door to Joe the baby-grabber. Keep away from him, she says. He is full of danger. Benny and Blanca own the corner store. They're okay except don't lean on the candy counter. Two girls raggedy as rats live across the street. You don't want to know them. Edna is the lady who owns the building next to you. She used to own a building big as a whale, but her brother sold it. Their mother said no, no, don't ever sell it. I won't. And then she closed her eyes and he sold it. Alicia is stuck-up ever since she went to college. She used to like me but now she doesn't.

　　Cathy who is queen of cats has cats and cats and cats. Baby cats, big cats, skinny cats, sick cats. Cats asleep like little donuts. Cats on top of the refrigerator. Cats taking a walk on the dinner table. Her house is like cat heaven.

　　You want a friend, she says. Okay, I'll be your friend. But only till next Tuesday. That's when we move away. Got to. Then as if she forgot I just moved in, she says the neighborhood is getting bad.

　　Cathy's father will have to fly to France one day and find her great great distant grand cousin on her father's side and inherit the family house. How do I know this is so? She told me so. In the meantime they'll just have to move a little farther north from Mango Street, a little farther away every time people like us keep moving in.

四棵细瘦的树

他们是唯一懂得我的。我是唯一懂得它们的。四棵细瘦的树儿长着细细的脖颈和尖尖的肘骨，像我的一样。不属于这里但到了这里的四个。市政栽下充数的四棵残次品。从我的房间里我们可以听到它们的声音，可蕾妮只是睡觉，不能领略些。     他们的力量是个秘密。他们在地下展开凶猛的根系。他们向上生长也向下生长，用它们须发样的脚趾攥紧泥土，用它们猛烈的牙齿噬咬天空，怒气从不懈怠。这就是它们坚持的方式。
假如有一棵忘记了他存在的理由，他们就全都会像玻璃瓶里的郁金香一样耷拉下来，手挽着手。坚持，坚持，坚持。树儿在我睡着的时候说。他们教会人。                                                                                                           当我太悲伤太瘦弱无法坚持再坚持的时候，当我如此渺小却要对抗这么多砖块的时候，我就会看着树儿。当街上没有别的东西可看的时候。不畏水泥仍在生长的四棵。伸展伸展从不忘记伸展的四棵。唯一的理由是存在存在的四棵。

Four Skinny Trees

They are the only ones who understand me. I am the only one who understands them. Four skinny trees with skinny necks and pointy elbows like mine. Four who do not belong here but are here. Four raggedy excuses planted by the city. From our room we can hear them, but Nenny just sleeps and doesn't appreciate these things.

　　Their strength is secret. They send ferocious roots beneath the ground. They grow up and they grow down and grab the earth between their hairy toes and bite the sky with violent teeth and never quit their anger. This is how they keep. Let one forget his reason for being, they'd all droop like tulips in a glass, each with their arms around the other. Keep, keep, keep, trees say when I sleep. They teach.

　　When I am too sad and too skinny to keep keeping, when I am a tiny thing against so many bricks, then it is I look at trees. When there is nothing left to look at on this street. Four who grew despite concrete. Four who reach and do not forget to reach. Four whose only reason is to be and be.

生辰不吉(1)

　　很可能我会去地狱，很可能我该去那里。妈妈说我出生的日子不吉利，并为我祈祷。露西和拉切尔也祈祷。为我们自己也为相互之间……为我们对卢佩婶婶做的事情。

Born Bad （１）

　Most likely I will go to hell and most likely I deserve to be there. My mother says I was born on an evil day and prays for me. Lucy and Rachel pray too. For ourselves and for each other... because of what we did to Aunt Lupe.

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生辰不吉(2)

她的全名叫古尔妲卢佩 。她像我妈妈一样漂亮。暗色皮肤。十分耐看。穿着琼?克劳馥式的裙子，长着游泳者的腿。那是照片上的卢佩婶婶。

　　可我知道她生病了，疾病缠绵不去。她的腿绑束在黄色的床单下面，骨头变得和蠕虫一样软弱。黄色的枕头，黄色的气味，瓶子勺子。她像一个口渴的女人一样向后仰着头。我的婶婶，那个游泳者。

　　很难想象她的腿曾经强健。坚韧的骨，劈波分浪，动作干净爽利，没有像婴儿的腿那样蜷曲皱缩，也没有淹滞在黏浊的黄光灯下。二层楼背面的公寓。光秃的电灯泡。高高的天花板，灯泡一直在燃烧。

　　我不知道是谁来决定谁该遭受厄运。她出生的日子没有不吉利。没有邪恶的诅咒。头一天我想她还在游泳，第二天她就病了。可能是拍下那张灰色照片的那天。也可能是她抱着表弟托奇和宝宝弗兰克的那天。也可能是她指着照相机让小孩们看可他们不看的那一刻。

　　也许天空在她摔倒的那天没有看向人间。也许上帝很忙。也许那天她入水没入好伤了脊椎是真的，也许托奇说的是真的，她从高高的梯凳上重重地摔了下来。

　　我想疾病没有眼睛。它们昏乱的指头会挑到任何人，任何人。比如我的婶婶，那天正好走在街上的婶婶，穿着琼?克劳馥式裙子，戴着缀有黑羽毛的、滑稽的毡帽，一只手里是表弟托奇，一只手里是宝宝弗兰克。

　　有时你会习惯病人，有时你会习惯疾病，如果病得太久，也就习以为常了。她的情况就是这样。或者这就是我们选择她的原因。

　　那是一个游戏。仅此而已。我们每天下午都玩的游戏，自从某天我们中的一个发明了它。我不记得是谁，我想那是我。

　　你得挑选一个人。你得想出大家都知道的一个人，一个你可以模仿，而别人都能猜出来的人。先是那些名人：神奇女侠 、披头士、玛丽莲?梦露……后来有人认为我们稍稍改变一下，如果我们假装自己是宾尼先生、或者他的妻子布兰卡，或者鹭鸶儿，或者别的我们认识的人，游戏会好玩点。

　　我不知道我们为什么挑选了她。也许那天我们很无聊。也许我们累了。我们喜欢我们的婶婶。她会听我们讲故事。她经常求我们再来。露西、我和拉切尔。我讨厌一个人去那里。走六个街区才到那昏暗的公寓，阳光从不会照射到的二层楼背面的房子，可那有什么关系？我婶婶那时已经瞎了。她从来看不见水池里的脏碗碟。她看不到落满灰尘和苍蝇的天花板。难看的酱色墙壁，瓶瓶罐罐和黏腻的茶勺。我无法忘记那里的气味。就像黏黏的胶囊注满了冻糊糊。我婶婶，一瓣小牡蛎，一团小肉，躺在打开的壳上，供我们观看。喂，喂。她好像掉在一口深井里。

　　我把图书馆借的书带到她家里。我给她读故事。我喜欢《水孩子》 这本书。她也喜欢。我从来不知道她病得有多重，直到那天我想要指给她看书里的一幅画，美丽的画，水孩子在大海中游泳。我把书举到她眼前。我看不到。她说。我瞎了。我心里便很愧疚。

　　她会听我念给她听的每一本书，每一首诗。一天我读了一首自己写的给她听。我凑得很近。我对着枕头轻轻耳语：

Born Bad（２）

　　Her name was Guadalupe and she was pretty like my mother. Dark. Good to look at. In her Joan Crawford dress and swimmer's legs. Aunt Lupe of the photographs.But I knew her sick from the disease that would not go, her legs bunched under the yellow sheets, the bones gone Limp as worms. The yellow pillow, the yellow smell, the bottles and spoons. Her head thrown back like a thirsty lady. My aunt, the swimmer. Hard to imagine her legs once strong, the bones hard and parting water, clean sharp strokes, not bent and wrinkled like a baby, not drowning under the sticky yellow light. Second-floor rear apartment. The naked light bulb. The high ceilings. The light bulb always burning. I don't know who decides who deserves to go bad. There was no evil in her birth. No wicked curse. One day I believe she was swimming, and the next day she was sick. It might have been the day that gray photograph was taken. It might have been the day she was holding cousin Totchy and baby Frank. It might have been the moment she pointed to the camera for the kids to look and they wouldn't.　Maybe the sky didn't look the day she fell down. Maybe God was busy. It could be true she didn't dive right one day and hurt her spine. Or maybe the story that she fell very hard from a high step stool, like Totchy said, is true. But I think diseases have no eyes. They pick with a dizzy finger anyone, just anyone. Like my aunt who happened to be walking down the street one day in her Joan Crawford dress, in her funny felt hat with the black feather, cousin Totchy in one hand, baby Frank in the other.　Sometimes you get used to the sick and sometimes the sickness, if it is there too long, gets to seem normal. This is how it was with her, and maybe this is why we chose her. It was a game, that's all. It was the game we played every afternoon ever since that day one of us invented it. I can't remember who. I think it was me. You had to pick somebody. You had to think of someone everybody knew. Someone you could imitate and everyone else would have to guess who it was. It started out with famous people: Wonder Woman, the Beatles, Marilyn Monroe... But then somebody thought it'd be better if we changed the game a little, if we pretended we were Mr. Benny, or his wife Blanca, or Ruthie, or anybody we knew.I don't know why we picked her. Maybe we were bored that day. Maybe we got tired. We liked my aunt. She listened to our stories. She always asked us to come back. Lucy, me, Rachel. I hated to go there alone. The six blocks to the dark apartment, second-floor rear building where sunlight never came, and what did it matter? My aunt was blind by then. She never saw the dirty dishes in the sink. She couldn't see the ceilings dusty with flies, the ugly maroon walls, the bottles and sticky spoons. I can't forget the smell. Like sticky capsules filled with jelly. My aunt, a little oyster, a little piece of meat on an open shell for us to look at. Hello, hello. As if she had fallen into a well.I took my library books to her house. I read her stories. I liked the book The Water Babies. She liked it too. I never knew how sick she was until that day I tried to show her one of the pictures in the book, a beautiful color picture of the water babies swimming in the sea. I held the book up to her face. I can't see it, she said, I'm blind. And then I was ashamed. She listened to every book, every poem I read her. one day I read her one of my own. I came very close. I whispered it into the pillow:

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生辰不吉(3)

　　我想成为海里的浪，风中的云，但我还只是小小的我。有一天我要跳出自己的身躯，我要摇晃天空，像一百把小提琴。

　　很好。非常好。她用有气无力的声音说。记住你要写下去，埃斯佩朗莎。你一定要写下去。那会让你自由，我说好的，只是那时我还不懂她的意思。

　　那天我们玩了同样的游戏。我们不知道她要死了。我们装作头往后仰，四肢软弱无力，像死人的一样垂挂着。我们学她的样子笑。学她的样子说话，那种盲人说话的时候不转动头部的样子。我们模仿她必须被人托起头颈才能喝水的样子。她从一个绿色的锡杯里把水慢慢地吮出来喝掉。水是热的，味道像金属。露西笑起来，拉切尔也笑了。我们轮流扮演她。我们像鹦鹉学舌一样，用微弱的声音呼喊托奇过来洗碗。那很容易做到。

　　可我们不懂。她等待死亡很长时间了。我们忘了。也许她很愧疚。也许她很窘迫：死亡花了这么多年时间。孩子们想要做成孩子，而不是在那里洗碗涮碟，给爸爸熨衬衫。丈夫也想再要一个妻子。

　　于是她死了。听我念诗的婶婶。

　　于是我们开始做起了那些梦。

Born Bad（３）
　　I want to be

　　like the waves on the sea,

　　like the clouds in the wind,

　　but I'm me.

　　One day I'll jump

　　out of my skin. 

　　I'll shake the sky

　　like a hundred violins.

　　That's nice. That's very good, she said in her tired voice. You just remember to keep writing, Esperanza. You must keep writing. It will keep you free, and I said yes, but at that time I didn't know what she meant.

　　The day we played the game, we didn't know she was going to die. We pretended with our heads thrown back, our arms limp and useless, dangling like the dead. We laughed the way she did. We talked the way she talked, the way blind people talk without moving their head. We imitated the way you had to lift her head a little so she could drink water, she sucked it up slow out of a green tin cup. The water was warm and tasted like metal. Lucy laughed. Rachel too. We took turns being her. We screamed in the weak voice of a parrot for Totchy to come and wash those dishes. It was easy.

　　We didn't know. She had been dying such a long time, we forgot. Maybe she was ashamed. Maybe she was embarrassed it took so many years. The kids who wanted to be kids instead of washing dishes and ironing their papa's shirts, and the husband who wanted a wife again.

　　And then she died, my aunt who listened to my poems. And then we began to dream the dreams.

阁楼上的流浪者

　　我想要一所山上的房子，像爸爸工作的地方那样的花园房。星期日，爸爸的休息日，我们会去那里。我过去常去。现在不去了。你长大了，就不喜欢和我们一起出去吗？爸爸说。你傲起来了。蕾妮说。我没告诉他们我很羞愧——我们一帮人全都盯着那里的窗户，像饥饿的人。我厌倦了盯着我不能拥有的东西。如果我们赢了彩票……妈妈才开口，我就不要听了。

　　那些住在山上、睡得靠星星如此近的人，他们忘记了我们这些住在地面上的人。他们根本不朝下看，除非为了体会住在山上的心满意足。上星期的垃圾，对老鼠的恐惧，这些与他们无关。夜晚来临，没什么惊扰他们的梦，除了风。

　　有一天我要拥有自己的房子，可我不会忘记我是谁我从哪里来。路过的流浪者会问，我可以进来吗？我会把他们领上阁楼，请他们住下来，因为我知道没有房子的滋味。

　　有些日子里，晚饭后，我和朋友们坐在火旁。楼上的地板吱呀吱呀响。阁楼上有咕咕哝哝的声音。

　　是老鼠吗？他们会问。

　　是流浪者。我会回答说。我很开心。

Bums in the Attic

　　I want a house on a hill like the ones with the gardens where Papa works. We go on Sundays, Papa's day off. I used to go. I don't anymore. You don't like to go out with us, Papa says. Getting too old? Getting too stuck-up, says Nenny. I don't tell them I am ashamed--all of us staring out the window like the hungry. I am tired of looking at what we can't have. When we win the lottery...Mama begins, and then I stop listening.

　　People who live on hills sleep so close to the stars they forget those of us who live too much on earth. They don't look down at all except to be content to live on hills. They have nothing to do with last week's garbage or fear of rats. Night comes. Nothing wakes them but the wind.

　　One day I'll own my own house, but I won't forget who I am or where I came from. Passing bums will ask, Can I come in? I'll offer them the attic, ask them to stay, because I know how it is to be without a house.

　　Some days after dinner, guests and I will sit in front of a fire. Floorboards will squeak upstairs. The attic grumble.

　　Rats? they'll ask.

　　Bums, I'll say, and I'll be happy.

芒果有时说再见

　　我喜欢讲故事。我在心里讲述。在邮递员说过这是你的邮件之后。这是你的邮件。他说。然后我开始讲述。

　　我编了一个故事，为我的生活，为我棕色鞋子走过的每一步。我说，“她步履沉重地登上木楼梯，她悲哀的棕色鞋子带着她走进了她从来不喜欢的房子。”

　　我喜欢讲故事。我将向你们讲述一个不想归属的女孩的故事。

　　我们先前不住芒果街。先前我们住鲁米斯的三楼，再先前我们住吉勒。吉勒前面是波琳娜。可我记得最清楚的是芒果街，悲哀的红色小屋。我住在那里却不属于那里的房子。

　　我把它写在纸上，然后心里的幽灵就不那么疼了。我把它写下来，芒果有时说再见。她不再用双臂抱住我。她放开了我。

　　有一天我会把一袋袋的书和纸打进包里。有一天我会对芒果说再见。我强大得她没法永远留住我。有一天我会离开。

　　朋友和邻居们会说，埃斯佩朗莎怎么了？她带着这么多书和纸去哪里？为什么她要走得那么远？

　　他们不会知道，我离开是为了回来。为了那些我留在身后的人。为了那些无法出去的人。

Mango Says Goodbye Sometimes

　　I like to tell stories. I tell them inside my head. I tell them after the mailman says, Here's your mail. Here's your mail he said.

　　I make a story for my life, for each step my brown shoe takes. I say, "And so she trudged up the wooden stairs, her sad brown shoes taking her to the house she never

　　liked."

　　I like to tell stories. I am going to tell you a story about a girl who didn't want to belong.

　　We didn't always live on Mango Street. Before that we lived on Loomis on the third floor, and before that we lived on Keeler. Before Keeler it was Paulina, but what I remember most is Mango Street, sad red house, the house I belong but do not belong to.

　　I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much. I write it down and Mango says goodbye sometimes. She does not hold me with both arms. She sets me free.

　　One day I will pack my bags of books and paper. One day I will say goodbye to Mango. I am too strong for her to keep me here forever. One day I will go away.

　　Friends and neighbors will say, What happened to that Esperanza? Where did she go with all those books and paper? Why did she march so far away?

　　They will not know I have gone away to come back. For the ones I left behind. For the ones who cannot out.

全是小强做的。很漂亮的贺卡。套用一个男生说的话——“哇涩~~~~这个细致很大胆 ！！！！！！！”

在卖双皮奶的店店，宗宗在纸上留下了东西。我一看————————哇哦！！！ 

                              哪一张是写给赵晶晶的？？？？？

然后看见人们在纸上写满了XXXYYYZZZ I LOVE YOU!!!XXXYYYZZZ I LOVE YOU!!!XXXYYYZZZ I LOVE YOU!!! 

和南南好小朋友分享我的双皮奶呵呵。

我过了个超级幸福的周末。静静妹也跨入21岁的行列了,祝贺！！！！